It’s done, and a decision . . .

Well, we said goodby to my maternal grandpa yesterday.

I had to laugh at the short-sightedness of the funeral home, though. I guess they do a lot of small funerals. My step-grandpa Brown’s funeral was there. All the relatives for Grandpa Brown’s funeral fit easilly into one of the side viewing rooms.

Grandpa McGill was a whole different story. We were actually lucky that not everyone who was related was able to come. Here is the breakdown:

9 living children
35 living natural grandkids
20+ living step-grandkids
50+ living great-grandkids
3 living great-great-grandkids

Plus, about a half-dozen ex-d-i-l’s or ex-s-i-l’s. Oh, and let’s not forget ex-grandkid-in-law’s.

But, there are AT LEAST 114 living BIOLOGICAL relatives (ok, that’s including step-grandkids). That poor funeral home was trying to divert all the relatives to the viewing room – which has a maximum seating capacity of 40. Yeah, right. Oh, and let’s not forget that most of the relatives have spouses.

9 kids + spouses = 18
35 grandkids +spouses = 70
50 great-grandkids + spouses = 75 (about half aren’t married yet)
3 great-great-grandkids = 3 (none are out of diapers yet)

I took a seat near the entrance on a very comfy couch, and just laughed every time someone came in the door and the greeter (not a relative, but an employee of the funeral home) would ask “friend or relative” and try to direct relatives toward the side room. I think the side room should (at least in THIS case) have been reserved for the children (and their spouses) & pall-bearers (w/o spouses).

Anyhow, the chapel was nicely decorated, and it worked well. We managed to get everyone who wanted to attend inside.

However, during the service I was rather brutally reminded of my Grandpa Brown’s service. They both had one very upsetting common characteristic. Overwhelmingly Christian themes – and Christian Ministers who were very shamelessly abusing the occasion to prod people into converting/rededicating/etc. And, both funerals were tag-team events (by which I mean that there were TWO ministers, sharing the outreach opportunity). By the time the chapel service was over, I was seathing inside, it was THAT blatantly obvious! When we got the chance to pull out of the line, we turned around and left without going to the gravesite. I couldn’t stomach any more preachy, self-serving lies.

Which leads me to my decision. I am going to make it known to all of my relatives that, from now on, they don’t even need to invite me to a funeral if there will be a Christian minister participating in it. I won’t come.


2 thoughts on “It’s done, and a decision . . .

  1. It’s really too bad when ministers lose sight of the fact that the funeral service is for the grieving family and friends, and many of them will come from diverse–and equally dedicated–spiritual backgrounds and commitments. It’s not a recruitment event; it’s a ceremony that’s supposed to help bring closure. Period.


  2. It’s nice that you went to the funeral — just betweeen you and your grandpa. It’s a personal thing, I think, and what a person feels in his heart is what matters.

    If anyone were to give a funeral for me, I’d want it to be a party! That would be a super send-off!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s