Yes, I’ve already found more to say on this. It’s about “projection”.
In my humble opinion, one of the gravest crimes we parents can make is to refuse to see our kids for who they actually are. But it is easy to do. All we have to do is get so busy trying to make them who we want them to be that we don’t allow them the room to find their own way.
My wife has a story to tell about this problem. Her mother started her on piano lessons – private tutor – when she was 8. My wife knew right away that she was never going to be any good – she’s tone deaf, and has an 80% hearing loss in one ear. Playing piano wasn’t even fun, but her mother made her take lessons every week until she started her Senior year in HS.
The flip side of this is to not provide them any support on finding their way at all. It’s easy to do, too. Just don’t ever get excited about anything they show an interest in, and never offer to help them try it out. I have to wonder how many wonderful artists are sitting in office cubicles right now because their own parents didn’t believe in them enough to let them try.