Not quite a week ago I got an email offering me a chance to take a “30 second quiz” to learn what my biggest success blocker was.  Since I have all sorts of time available to kill, I took the quiz just to see what they said.

When I got the results, I wasn’t particularly impressed.  It looked (to me) like something that could have been written for 20,000 other people all at the same time.  But, something strange happened.  The author of the quiz is also a published self-help writer, and sells her premier book for $19 USD.  Because I had taken her quiz, she was offering me an e-book version of the book FOR FREE if I’d give her an email address to send it to.  I did.

I read the book front-to-back in one day, and got really excited.  It talks about HOW TO USE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION – and walks you through exactly how to perform the mechanical steps to make things happen.  I have used daily affirmations before, and after reading the book I pulled out the list and jumped into re-writing the statements.  Very excitedly, I even told several friends about this “missing link”.  I’ve read the book again once every day since.

Except today.

Something happened today that was a total “bolt from the blue” moment of revelation for me.  I’d just sat down to my computer to read, was still in chapter one of the book, when I learned for myself what is probably the biggest reason why the Law of Attraction has never worked for me – and perhaps never will.

I have no dream.  There is nothing that I can do that I am passionate about.  Oh, there are LOTS of things that I can do – my job history attests to that in spades – but I’m not passionate about any of them.  Never have been.  Looking back into my earliest childhood memories, I can’t remember being passionate about any activity.  There have been several things I’ve done over the years that I’ve been good at – Army Medic, music, math, spiritually assisting others with trauma recovery – but I can’t remember ever having a dream that I’d gladly sacrifice everything else to achieve.

No focus, no goal, no gain.  The law of “Be – Do – Have” comes to mind.  It basically says that in order to have the life you want, you must first figure out what you must do to get that life.  Knowing what you have to do, you now need to figure out what you have to be to achieve that ability to do.  Beingness first, Doingness second, Havingness results.

Learning this about myself makes me feel like a failure on a monumental scale, but I know one thing the feeling doesn’t.  It opens the door to me looking inside myself, and getting to know myself more intimately than ever before, so that I CAN find that passion.  This isn’t the end of my journey, just a fork in the road.