Saturday Posts . . .

My wife emailed this joke to me, and it was so cute that I had to share it . . . .V

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HOT COFFEE

Gotta love those grand-kids ..

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”

Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s President’s Day!” ..

She’s smart, so I asked her “What does President’s Day mean?”

I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc.

She replied, “President’s Day is when the President steps out of the White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of full of cow poop.”

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Saturday Posts . . .

Kudos to my wife for sending this to me.

Saturday Posts . . .

The reason this is funny is the reference to a movie from 1996 called “The Craft”. It’s a great movie, with a very interesting spiritual message.

Saturday Posts . . .

Today, just for a bit of fun, I want to share something absolutely funny and wonderful with everyone.

But – you’ll have to do just a little bit of work for it.

Open up your web browser’s search engine, and look for “O’Reilly Auto Parts”. When you get the results, go to the website, and you’ll see (probably in the top left corner) another search tool for their website. Put this into the search tool – 121G – and hit the “enter” key.

Enjoy!

(Major kudos to my wonderful wife for sharing that with me)

What a (bad) joke . . .

There is no way this could have been anything other than SPAM – and I don’t mean the processed meat product.

This morning I got an email that was congratulating me for some sort of “achievement” – here is the text of the email:

March, 13th 2017

A gold plate, uniquely engraved plaque was made for you to honor your recent achievements in business and your community,

Please kindly accept your award before March 17th, as we will be closing all of our honorary Winners like you

Your award was initiated after multiple of the executives at your firm have 33 of your colleagues nominated you for this prestigious achievement.
Make sure to accept before the nomination runs out today.

Your Decoration You Deserve Is Waiting for you.
Be Proud of being one of the very few to be selected to join.

Through the activities offered, we provide a plethora of opportunities to build your brand and exposed it to over 300,000 be the first of many you will receive. From all of us at the Elite Organization, we Congratulate you and welcome you to a small but prestigous group.

With our greatest regards,

Keli Brewer
Business Development

This is a bad joke. It’s a joke, because I’ve never worked for a company (other than the US Army and a few fast food franchises) that even had enough “colleagues” to have made this nomination in the numbers the email reports. It’s a bad joke because I haven’t worked for ANYONE in the last year.

Shutting down . . .

Well, having accomplished what I set out to do with this blog, I think it is time to shut it down.

The reason I’m doing this now it simple: I had 90 days to renew my domain registration when they informed me that WordPress has decided to force a 2-stage authentication process that requires a form of verification that I literally can’t provide – a cell phone number. Since I do not have a cell phone, and wouldn’t tie it to my blog even if I did, it is time to quit WordPress. Besides, I’ve done what I set out to do with this blog, by laying personal claim to ideas that were hugely influential in the outcome of the 2016 election for the USA. Everything else was gravy.

So, I’m transferring all of my files and blog posts to my original blog at: http://mr-spock.livejournal.com/ and asking that if you want to continue to follow my journey of self discovery, you’ll bookmark that page or subscribe to it. I’ve been blogging on that page since 2004.

Thank you, one and all, for making this page feel like a resounding success.

Saturday Posts . . .

FYI – this is entirely humorous. Neither I nor anyone I know has actually tried to file an income tax return claiming this. – Vernon

Ask Your Doctor (joke) . . .

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and/or Naked Twister.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked

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My wife found the above at this site:

http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?56581-ask-your-doctor-or-pharmacist-about-Tequila%AE

Saturday Posts . . .

I decided to keep things light today, in an effort to take some of the pressure off of all the political grousing and back-stabbing and finger pointing that is going on. So, instead of one of my usual Saturday meditations, here is a link to someone else’s work on the humor of grammar . . .

31 Jokes Every Grammar Nerd Will Understand