Recently my wife and I were talking, and somehow the lyrics to “This Land is Your Land” by Woodie Guthrie came up. Well, I have a peculiar ability to screw up the words to songs, and come up with something that actually makes sense, but has no bearing on the original song, and that happened again.
Here are my new lyrics to that song:
This land is my land, this land is your land,
From the bloated egos, to the trampled minions,
From the hostile bigots, to the liberal half-wits,
This land was made for you and me.
Yesterday while my wife was getting ready to leave for work, she encountered another of the unwelcome guests to our home that accompanied my daughter when she moved in last year. It had managed to crawl under her robe while she was getting dressed, and when she picked up the robe, she let out a brief shriek and then I heard her shoe give it a massive headache. Several times.
When she came in to tell me about it, I knew it was already over. Nothing for me to do, except put it into a context that wouldn’t ruin her day at work. So, I burst into song:
“Just like me, it longed to be, close to you!” (from “Close to You” by the Carpenters – written by Burt Bacharach) Well, at least she was smiling when she left for work!
As you may know, I like to have fun coming up with new lyrics to well-known songs. This morning I really blind-sided my wife with one change I made.
The original song is “Wheel In The Sky” by the rock group Journey. The part I altered goes like this:
Oh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
Don’t know if I’ll see tomorrow
As we sat eating our breakfast, our cats were dutifully observing everything (as they usually do) even though they had been fed about an hour earlier. Then Merlin, the all-black male, started moving around as though he was trying to find a stealthy way to get to my wife’s plate.
And out of nowhere, I conjured this alteration to “Wheel in the Sky” (from Merlin’s viewpoint):
Oh, the eggs on that plate have me tempted
See if some sneaking can get them.
I’m terrible, aren’t I?